Ok, here it is: to the Half-Siblings...

OK, so I'm addressing it, with complete honesty. I'm not going to be a bitch, it's not my intention, just expressing my thoughts on this whole crazy family we have going on here.

(Sigh)...Ok...So, I'm just not ready. Simple as that. I know my brother and sister are obviously ready; they've gone there and are quite happy. Me, not so ready. Honestly, I still harbor some bitter hostile feelings about the whole thing. Not necessarily towards you guys. You didn't ask for this situation; neither of us did. You're just opening up, which is great. I'm just not ready to open up yet. Honestly, I don't think I'm ready to like you guys yet. And I'm sure there's a lot to like. I'm quite curious about all of you, as I've been told you are about me. I've met 2 of you, and been approached to open up contact by 2 of you. I'm curious to see if any of you have anything in common with me, which was the situation with my brother, which was the freakiest thing ever!

Two of you look so much like him. You look like more of "his kids" than we do. The similarities between the two boys is insane. It was the weirdest thing to meet him. To look at someone you've never met or known, and to have them look JUST like someone you've known all your life is really weird. Sorry if I stared at you; it was just so crazy. You look JUST like my brother!

My bitter and hostile feelings stem from the fact that we are just so close in age. The oldest one is my age! MY AGE! That hurts. And I know it's not her fault. I know this. But it doesn't make it hurt less. So with that particular person, it will be extremely difficult to open up to. Everyone else is only like a year or two away from me. I can't help but play the typical divorced kid and ask myself what was so wrong with me, with us, that he felt the need to stick it out with you guys over us.

I've been told "Get over it," "You can't punish him forever," "It's not their fault." The last statement is the only one I can agree with. And I really am trying to get over it. I'm getting better with thoughts of him, but you guys are a big challenge. Sometimes I get jealous that my brother and sister have a relationship with you and I don't. And I am also aware that that is my own choice. I am so curious; I have so many questions. I have thoughts of all of us getting together. I have such a fun time with my brother and sister now when we all get together, and if you guys are related, then I'm sure you MUST have a good sense of humor, and I think we would all have a really good time. But getting to that point will just take me some time.

Call me childish, that's fine. Say whatever you will. Hey, this blog just might be the door, I don't know. All I know is that I'm honestly scared shitless of getting to know you guys, and I need time. Please feel free to respond; I'm alright with honesty.

IT RUNS!!!

My husband got the car to run!!! As some of you know, he's been working on his '63 Ford Galaxie 500. Last episode, he had to remove the entire engine and take it apart to find a small piece of metal floating around in there. After being stripped, cleaned, painted and put back together, the car finally runs! He painted the engine red and stenciled white "FORD" on it...looks pretty good. So now he's making sure all of the connections are right, so that he doesn't have to pull the engine out again, before he can drive it. We are both very excited about the new developments.

The Shooting Range

So, I took my husband on a date to the shooting range last weekend for the first time. He has shot a gun before, I was a virgin :o) I used a .22 revolver and shot a whole box full of bullets! It was fun :o) We took turns shooting from different ranges; I, of course, did my best shooting from 3 yards. But even from far away (can't remember the yardage) I was able to make shots in the red circle :o) He said I was the coolest wife for taking him out on a date I knew he'd be into :o) Yea me!

Speechless

Hmmm...I just don't know what to say about that.

Random thought

I really need to become more social.

Book 2

You read correctly...I have read yet another book! That makes 2 books in a year, so far! Those of you who think this is no biggie...I don't read books. I have hated reading books since I was a child and had to read for assignments, and even then I never read. I got by, quite well, on friends and note-taking.

Well, the book I just finished is called Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, 406 pages long. Now I need to find another book to read. I'm on a roll!!!

These are a 3!

This is me wearing a pair of shorts a friend gave me. The coolest part....they're a size 3!!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I can fit my former size 12 ass into a pair of 3's!! And comfortably, I might add. Now, I'm sure I can't just go out and buy any size 3; this just happened to be a freak accident, I'm sure. But, hey, I got compliments today, and I felt like the shit, so I'm happy ;O)