Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Teaching Position
So, I have been told of a teaching position in RISD for 4th grade reading/writing for the '08-'09 school year. I am ACTIVELY looking into what I need to do. I would have 2 teachers, already there, pulling for me as well :o) I'll let you know what happens.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Astrological Love Test:
So, I took an astrological love compatibility test. Here's my results...sounds promising :o)
http://love.astrology.com/lovematch.html
When Libra and Scorpio come together in a love match, they tend to make a very emotionally connected and mutually satisfying union. Though Scorpio is a brooder who can get lost in the confusing welter of their own emotions, Libra's proclivity for balance and harmony helps keep Scorpio even. Scorpio can return the favor to Libra with their characteristic powers of focus, a trait that Libra usually lacks. These two are very compatible due to their similar needs in a love relationship: Libra is the Sign of Partnership, and Libra is happiest when in a well-balanced and intimate relationship, while Scorpio thrives on emotional and sexual intimacy with their mate. These two Signs can make a very loyal, close and satisfying partnership.
These two would do well to undertake some sort of project together aside from their love relationship, as they have great potential to get great things done. They combine the power of emotion with the power of intellect, an extremely formidable duo. Scorpio tends to be more patient, but is also more controlling than Libra. Despite any differences, both partners love risk and taking chances; this is not a boring relationship! These two are real charmers; they know how to woo and seduce one another and take great pleasure in doing so. Their different styles -- Scorpio is intense and secretive while Libra is upfront and open -- sometimes make them have trouble understanding one another, so they may need to pay close attention to their communication at times.
Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love) and Scorpio is dually ruled by the Planets Mars (Passion) and Pluto (Power). Libra's love of beauty and romance balances the strife that can arise in Scorpio's life due to their deep, often tangled emotions. Scorpio's Mars influence at least promises an active, exciting relationship. Also, neither Sign wants to argue. Scorpio avoids arguments in favor of secret revenge; Libra abhors conflict and will do anything possible to avoid it, including backing down and seeking a truce.
Libra is an Air Sign and Scorpio is a Water Sign. The best decisions are made combining the intellect and the emotions -- using both the head and the heart, this couple can meet almost any challenge, understand almost any puzzle. This is all contingent, of course, on the two Signs working together, not against one another. Scorpio is a master strategist and can help Libra focus their occasionally scattered or indecisive minds. At times, however, Scorpio's over-emotionalism can drag down and dishearten Libra, and Libra can occasionally make Scorpio feel flustered and uncomfortably stirred up. It is at these times when Libra's natural diplomacy comes in most handy.
Libra is a Cardinal Sign and Scorpio is a Fixed Sign. Libra is always thinking of something new to try: a new restaurant or art gallery to visit on a date or a new place to travel to -- but it's Scorpio who has the determination to follow through on these ideas. These two have the capability to be the most loyal and devoted of partners, as these are qualities that are quite important to each of them.
What's the best aspect of the Libra-Scorpio relationship? The power they find in unity. They can accomplish a lot, whether they come together for a cause in the business or romantic sphere. They are both winners and they won't give up, making theirs a relationship that takes care of business.
http://love.astrology.com/lovematch.html
Libra and Scorpio
(me) (husband)
When Libra and Scorpio come together in a love match, they tend to make a very emotionally connected and mutually satisfying union. Though Scorpio is a brooder who can get lost in the confusing welter of their own emotions, Libra's proclivity for balance and harmony helps keep Scorpio even. Scorpio can return the favor to Libra with their characteristic powers of focus, a trait that Libra usually lacks. These two are very compatible due to their similar needs in a love relationship: Libra is the Sign of Partnership, and Libra is happiest when in a well-balanced and intimate relationship, while Scorpio thrives on emotional and sexual intimacy with their mate. These two Signs can make a very loyal, close and satisfying partnership.
These two would do well to undertake some sort of project together aside from their love relationship, as they have great potential to get great things done. They combine the power of emotion with the power of intellect, an extremely formidable duo. Scorpio tends to be more patient, but is also more controlling than Libra. Despite any differences, both partners love risk and taking chances; this is not a boring relationship! These two are real charmers; they know how to woo and seduce one another and take great pleasure in doing so. Their different styles -- Scorpio is intense and secretive while Libra is upfront and open -- sometimes make them have trouble understanding one another, so they may need to pay close attention to their communication at times.
Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love) and Scorpio is dually ruled by the Planets Mars (Passion) and Pluto (Power). Libra's love of beauty and romance balances the strife that can arise in Scorpio's life due to their deep, often tangled emotions. Scorpio's Mars influence at least promises an active, exciting relationship. Also, neither Sign wants to argue. Scorpio avoids arguments in favor of secret revenge; Libra abhors conflict and will do anything possible to avoid it, including backing down and seeking a truce.
Libra is an Air Sign and Scorpio is a Water Sign. The best decisions are made combining the intellect and the emotions -- using both the head and the heart, this couple can meet almost any challenge, understand almost any puzzle. This is all contingent, of course, on the two Signs working together, not against one another. Scorpio is a master strategist and can help Libra focus their occasionally scattered or indecisive minds. At times, however, Scorpio's over-emotionalism can drag down and dishearten Libra, and Libra can occasionally make Scorpio feel flustered and uncomfortably stirred up. It is at these times when Libra's natural diplomacy comes in most handy.
Libra is a Cardinal Sign and Scorpio is a Fixed Sign. Libra is always thinking of something new to try: a new restaurant or art gallery to visit on a date or a new place to travel to -- but it's Scorpio who has the determination to follow through on these ideas. These two have the capability to be the most loyal and devoted of partners, as these are qualities that are quite important to each of them.
What's the best aspect of the Libra-Scorpio relationship? The power they find in unity. They can accomplish a lot, whether they come together for a cause in the business or romantic sphere. They are both winners and they won't give up, making theirs a relationship that takes care of business.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Why A Clean Kitchen Makes For Hot Foreplay:
Researchers found the key to a woman’s orgasmic bliss is deep relaxation.
Forget romantic dinners and a room for two at your favorite weekend spot. It turns out that the key to great sex for women is a clean kitchen — and maybe some help making sure the kids’ homework is done. Sexy, huh?
Researchers in the Netherlands found that the key to getting a woman turned on and to the heights of orgasmic bliss is a deep sense of relaxation and a lack of anxiety. All in the name of science, researchers at the University of Groningen scanned the brains of 13 women and 11 men while they were manually stimulated to orgasm by their partners. The scans showed that, for women, the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion slowed down the more aroused they became, producing a trancelike state at orgasm. Says Dr. Gert Holstege of women's sexual wiring, “What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm.” Men showed far less change in these areas of the brain.
So what can you do to keep the home fires burning? Here are some tips to help yourself, or help your partner, tune out of daily stress and tune in to the sexual moment:
Couples who clean together, stay togetherAs a sex therapist and relationship counselor, one of most common complaints I hear from women is that they bear the majority of the burden for household chores. Even if they work, most of them come home to a “second shift,” of cleaning, cooking and chaos, and sex is just one more to-do on that list. Men need to get this and help with chores more — without being asked. Women don’t want to feel like they have to ask or, worse, say “hooray” every time you do something around the house. After all, you live there too! Foreplay really is cleaning up the house when it’s a mess, taking out the garbage and making the kids’ lunches as part of your daily routine. Once guys start carrying their weight around the house, they’re apt to find that women have more energy inside the bedroom.
No one likes a martyr:
Of course, the household-help advice cuts both ways. Women need to take some responsibility and communicate how important helping out around the house is to them. Otherwise, dirty socks and a sink full of dishes can lead to anger, tension and resentment, and you won’t be able to unwind and enjoy sex. Ask your partner for the help you need. Do it in a way that’s nice and to the point. Chances are, he’ll be receptive and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it ages ago.
Don’t be a perfectionist:
It’s also important to resist being the martyr because you’re the only one who can do it right. If you’re constantly telling him he doesn’t clean well enough or you do it over when you think he’s not looking, he’s going to lose the incentive to help. Communicate, and show him how you would like it done, then consider easing up on your standards. Don’t treat him like a child if you want him to be your partner.
Use cleaning time for some creative bonding:
In a time of multitasking, maybe we need to do more of these chores and the daily drudgery together. Maybe it’s not always about efficiency and the usual divide-and-conquer strategy, but finding a way to do it together. You’ll create some time for bonding, and if you think he won’t be up for it, that’s easy: Let your guy know these are the things you need done in order to enjoy sex. That’s a pretty quick way to get the house clean!
By Ian Kerner, Ph.D
Sex therapist and relationship counselor
TODAYShow.com contributor
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22715758/
Forget romantic dinners and a room for two at your favorite weekend spot. It turns out that the key to great sex for women is a clean kitchen — and maybe some help making sure the kids’ homework is done. Sexy, huh?
Researchers in the Netherlands found that the key to getting a woman turned on and to the heights of orgasmic bliss is a deep sense of relaxation and a lack of anxiety. All in the name of science, researchers at the University of Groningen scanned the brains of 13 women and 11 men while they were manually stimulated to orgasm by their partners. The scans showed that, for women, the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion slowed down the more aroused they became, producing a trancelike state at orgasm. Says Dr. Gert Holstege of women's sexual wiring, “What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm.” Men showed far less change in these areas of the brain.
So what can you do to keep the home fires burning? Here are some tips to help yourself, or help your partner, tune out of daily stress and tune in to the sexual moment:
Couples who clean together, stay togetherAs a sex therapist and relationship counselor, one of most common complaints I hear from women is that they bear the majority of the burden for household chores. Even if they work, most of them come home to a “second shift,” of cleaning, cooking and chaos, and sex is just one more to-do on that list. Men need to get this and help with chores more — without being asked. Women don’t want to feel like they have to ask or, worse, say “hooray” every time you do something around the house. After all, you live there too! Foreplay really is cleaning up the house when it’s a mess, taking out the garbage and making the kids’ lunches as part of your daily routine. Once guys start carrying their weight around the house, they’re apt to find that women have more energy inside the bedroom.
No one likes a martyr:
Of course, the household-help advice cuts both ways. Women need to take some responsibility and communicate how important helping out around the house is to them. Otherwise, dirty socks and a sink full of dishes can lead to anger, tension and resentment, and you won’t be able to unwind and enjoy sex. Ask your partner for the help you need. Do it in a way that’s nice and to the point. Chances are, he’ll be receptive and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it ages ago.
Don’t be a perfectionist:
It’s also important to resist being the martyr because you’re the only one who can do it right. If you’re constantly telling him he doesn’t clean well enough or you do it over when you think he’s not looking, he’s going to lose the incentive to help. Communicate, and show him how you would like it done, then consider easing up on your standards. Don’t treat him like a child if you want him to be your partner.
Use cleaning time for some creative bonding:
In a time of multitasking, maybe we need to do more of these chores and the daily drudgery together. Maybe it’s not always about efficiency and the usual divide-and-conquer strategy, but finding a way to do it together. You’ll create some time for bonding, and if you think he won’t be up for it, that’s easy: Let your guy know these are the things you need done in order to enjoy sex. That’s a pretty quick way to get the house clean!
By Ian Kerner, Ph.D
Sex therapist and relationship counselor
TODAYShow.com contributor
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22715758/
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
FINALLY! Someone understands!!!
So, I looked up step-parent websites, and it's just amazing!!! I'm not evil! These articles sum it all up so well:
"Being a childless stepmom entails so many things and it is even more complicated than the complicated issues of a stepmom who has children of her own! Stepmoms as a whole are largely misunderstood by the world that we live in. It is hard for someone who has not walked in our shoes to know how it feels to be treated badly by your husband's kids, his ex and your husband himself. We are pushed into corners, forced to fight for our basic rights such as privacy and sense of belonging. We get married thinking that we will be united with our partner and that he will back us up and expect his kids to treat us with respect. What we get is a load of mistreatment from his kids and his ex and he won't stand up to any of them for us. We are forced to disengage in order to save our sanity. Disengaging makes no logical sense until you have been so badly mistreated and taken advantage of by your "family" that you are backed into a corner and are forced to try disengaging before you kill someone or leave the marriage.
All of that is incredibly difficult and painful. It sends many women screaming from the man that they love. It's more than many of us can take. But when you throw into the mix wanting children so badly and being denied for whatever reason it makes everything so much more complicated and harder for the outsider to understand. Some women marry men who have already had the big "snip" done. Other women marry a man who has been so burned by the ex that they are scared to death to try *that* again (such as is my case). Other women have fertility issues. Other women come into it not wanting children but then decide that they want children with their husband. We all have our own story. Being a childless stepmom is a very painful thing if it was not part of our plan -- and let's be honest here, being a stepmom was in NOBODY'S life plan...much less being a childless stepmom.
It is so incredibly painful from such a deep place in the heart to watch your husband have a relationship with his children while you do not have children of your own and you want them so desparately. Each time they have a birthday it stings because you are reminded of the children that you cannot have birthday parties for. Every Mother's Day is a dreaded and emotional day. Every time that you hear about the ex you are reminded with a painful sting that she shares something very special with your husband that you may never share with him. You feel as though something very big has been stolen from you. Sometimes all that it takes is your stepchild coming for a visit to throw you into a depression. You do everything in your power not to start crying or to go ballistic when people ask when you are going to have children together. That question hurts very deeply.
There is nothing that can make the pain go away. Nobody can give you a magic pill and make everything better. Once we pass childbearing age we will struggle with the loss all over again and everything that we missed: buying baby clothes, first birthday, first steps, first word, getting them ready for their first day of school, being a parent volunteer on their field trips, hosting sleep-overs, helping them get over the first broken heart, helping them get ready for dances, cheering them on at their little leagues and karate classes, graduation, crying when they leave for college, another graduation, first real job, first real place to live on their own, engagement, marriage, and grandchildren. Sure we can share in many of these activities with our husbands children but it just isn't the same. Our stepchildren have a mother already and we know that we are not her. We are quite aware of that and she surely does not let us forget.
We can love our stepchildren, but nothing will ever replace our own biological children in our hearts. I love my stepdaughter and am happy to help her out in any way that I can. I am glad to be a part of her life and I want to be able to give her many great things. But, I am not her mother and I long so deeply for a child of my own. She is an enhancement in my life, but not a replacement for my own children.
There are many ways that being a childless stepmom is different than being a stepmom with children of her own than the pain of not having children. Although for some of us, that is undoubtedly the hardest part of being a childless stepmom. One problem is that it can be very difficult to find people in our lives who understand us and what we go through. Many people think that being a stepparent should fulfill our maternal desires. Anyone who is a childless stepmom knows that nobody can replace the biomom, nobody. Sometimes our stepchildren won't let us forget it, either.
We don't have experience with motherhood, so we aren't able to remember when our own little one went through a similar phase and have a better understanding for the phase. We are also used to our privacy and are not used to having curious little eyes and hands checking out our belongings. Along with this is that stepmoms who have their own biological children are used to what sacrifices are demanded of a parent. A childless stepmom isn't used to a child waking her up in the middle of the night asking for help going to the bathroom or cancelling a fun outing because a child is sick. It is a huge adjustment, especially given that we don't have the benefit of raising our stepkids from birth, everything is new and usually the stepkids have been raised far differently than she would have raised them.
Another thing that many of us don't expect is the criticism that we receive. All eyes are on us and how we react to our stepchildren. Their bioparents are patted on the back when they complain about how awful their children are being, people understand that parents get tired of their kids and that kids can be draining and testing. But we learn a valuable lesson the very first time that we open our mouths and complain about our stepchildren. We are frowned upon and are taken for the evil stepmother if we say anything at all negative about our stepchildren. Somehow we are supposed to be even better and stronger than our stepchildren's biological parents and never be frustrated with them. "
from http://www.geocities.com/childlessstepmoms/childless.html
Now, keep in mind the ENTIRE article does not apply to me. No mistreatment from my stepchild, and the word mistreatment doesn't work for how I'm treated by my husband...I don't feel mistreated by them...just not understood.
"Being a childless stepmom entails so many things and it is even more complicated than the complicated issues of a stepmom who has children of her own! Stepmoms as a whole are largely misunderstood by the world that we live in. It is hard for someone who has not walked in our shoes to know how it feels to be treated badly by your husband's kids, his ex and your husband himself. We are pushed into corners, forced to fight for our basic rights such as privacy and sense of belonging. We get married thinking that we will be united with our partner and that he will back us up and expect his kids to treat us with respect. What we get is a load of mistreatment from his kids and his ex and he won't stand up to any of them for us. We are forced to disengage in order to save our sanity. Disengaging makes no logical sense until you have been so badly mistreated and taken advantage of by your "family" that you are backed into a corner and are forced to try disengaging before you kill someone or leave the marriage.
All of that is incredibly difficult and painful. It sends many women screaming from the man that they love. It's more than many of us can take. But when you throw into the mix wanting children so badly and being denied for whatever reason it makes everything so much more complicated and harder for the outsider to understand. Some women marry men who have already had the big "snip" done. Other women marry a man who has been so burned by the ex that they are scared to death to try *that* again (such as is my case). Other women have fertility issues. Other women come into it not wanting children but then decide that they want children with their husband. We all have our own story. Being a childless stepmom is a very painful thing if it was not part of our plan -- and let's be honest here, being a stepmom was in NOBODY'S life plan...much less being a childless stepmom.
It is so incredibly painful from such a deep place in the heart to watch your husband have a relationship with his children while you do not have children of your own and you want them so desparately. Each time they have a birthday it stings because you are reminded of the children that you cannot have birthday parties for. Every Mother's Day is a dreaded and emotional day. Every time that you hear about the ex you are reminded with a painful sting that she shares something very special with your husband that you may never share with him. You feel as though something very big has been stolen from you. Sometimes all that it takes is your stepchild coming for a visit to throw you into a depression. You do everything in your power not to start crying or to go ballistic when people ask when you are going to have children together. That question hurts very deeply.
There is nothing that can make the pain go away. Nobody can give you a magic pill and make everything better. Once we pass childbearing age we will struggle with the loss all over again and everything that we missed: buying baby clothes, first birthday, first steps, first word, getting them ready for their first day of school, being a parent volunteer on their field trips, hosting sleep-overs, helping them get over the first broken heart, helping them get ready for dances, cheering them on at their little leagues and karate classes, graduation, crying when they leave for college, another graduation, first real job, first real place to live on their own, engagement, marriage, and grandchildren. Sure we can share in many of these activities with our husbands children but it just isn't the same. Our stepchildren have a mother already and we know that we are not her. We are quite aware of that and she surely does not let us forget.
We can love our stepchildren, but nothing will ever replace our own biological children in our hearts. I love my stepdaughter and am happy to help her out in any way that I can. I am glad to be a part of her life and I want to be able to give her many great things. But, I am not her mother and I long so deeply for a child of my own. She is an enhancement in my life, but not a replacement for my own children.
There are many ways that being a childless stepmom is different than being a stepmom with children of her own than the pain of not having children. Although for some of us, that is undoubtedly the hardest part of being a childless stepmom. One problem is that it can be very difficult to find people in our lives who understand us and what we go through. Many people think that being a stepparent should fulfill our maternal desires. Anyone who is a childless stepmom knows that nobody can replace the biomom, nobody. Sometimes our stepchildren won't let us forget it, either.
We don't have experience with motherhood, so we aren't able to remember when our own little one went through a similar phase and have a better understanding for the phase. We are also used to our privacy and are not used to having curious little eyes and hands checking out our belongings. Along with this is that stepmoms who have their own biological children are used to what sacrifices are demanded of a parent. A childless stepmom isn't used to a child waking her up in the middle of the night asking for help going to the bathroom or cancelling a fun outing because a child is sick. It is a huge adjustment, especially given that we don't have the benefit of raising our stepkids from birth, everything is new and usually the stepkids have been raised far differently than she would have raised them.
Another thing that many of us don't expect is the criticism that we receive. All eyes are on us and how we react to our stepchildren. Their bioparents are patted on the back when they complain about how awful their children are being, people understand that parents get tired of their kids and that kids can be draining and testing. But we learn a valuable lesson the very first time that we open our mouths and complain about our stepchildren. We are frowned upon and are taken for the evil stepmother if we say anything at all negative about our stepchildren. Somehow we are supposed to be even better and stronger than our stepchildren's biological parents and never be frustrated with them. "
from http://www.geocities.com/childlessstepmoms/childless.html
Now, keep in mind the ENTIRE article does not apply to me. No mistreatment from my stepchild, and the word mistreatment doesn't work for how I'm treated by my husband...I don't feel mistreated by them...just not understood.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
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