Merry Christmas!

Christmas love from Dan :o)

WHOA! Yes, I dared to put my make-up-less face on here.

Christmas Lucy :o)

Bling, Bling!

I believe Sofia's throwing up a "West Side"...

Helping open gifts

Penney spreading the word, in every language.

I LOVE my Mexican Folk Art coloring book!

Me, Penney & Sofia completing a Dora "cuzzle."

Dixie got a Didj.

Some bracelets Santa left.

Dixie was VERY happy with her cupcake baking kit!

Oh, Christmas Tree

Apparently, a re-run of "Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh" beat out decorating the Christmas Tree as a family...

Adam and I did a great job!

Blue is My New Favorite Color

I compartmentalize everything; it's how I deal with life. Can't handle thinking about it right now? Put it in a drawer in your mind and shut the door. Deal with it later. This has worked so well for me. Later, if I choose to, I can open that drawer and then deal...when I'm ready.

Lately, drawers are popping open all by themselves. Drawers I never knew I had...and things inside I thought I had finished caring about. And as much as I try and lock it away, it just opens up.

I was ready to say, "I forgive you," or so I thought. I had thought about doing it, and seemed at peace with it...mostly. I've written countless letters, none of them ever sent, but just to get it all out of me. To say everything I've wanted to say without the fear of crying. I thought I was done with all of this.

Who knew someones choice so very long ago would still effect me today. Why can't I fucking get over it? That's all I want. Not to stew. Not to question. Not to hate so very much.

What was so fundamentally wrong with me that made it so easy? I have ALWAYS wondered this. I continue to wonder this. This comes up. Again and again and again. It spreads into drawers full of things that have absolutely NOTHING to do with it. And it meshes it all together into this overwhelming, uncontrollable mess.

With some people, I try so hard to be just so, to make sure it doesn't happen again. With others , it's the opposite..."Here I am. This is how I'm going to be. You don't like it? Fuck you."

I'm not sure how to end this post. I want it out. And maybe putting out will get it out.

Maybe.

Sofia

We babysat Sofia a couple of weekends ago. Here she is playing in all of Dixie's girly glory:

We had lots of fun with pee pee doll. Especially once she found out it peed. And she digs the beads and tiara too!




She REALLY liked the Fourth of July light up spinny toy we bought Dixie. She carried it with her all around the house. After bath and p.j.'s we watched "Yo-Gabba-Gabba." Sofia showed me she could break it down and freestyle beat box. It was great!

Trick Dog

Hank's ears are starting to stand up. Well...at least one is.




He has found various sleeping hideaways around the house, including under the night stand...



and, Dan's favorite, under the bed.


We've become spoiled by having Dan, an older TRAINED dog. We aren't used to having to take the dog outside TWICE WITHIN THE HOUR! Dan doesn't go after makeup brushes or hot roller clips or the heating pad! (Sigh)...we've forgotten how hard and hellish having a "baby" is. This dog needs to catch on quickly.

This is harder for me to deal with than I thought.

Hank Overnight

This is Tom Hanks "The Tank" Contreras. We'll call him Hank. He came for an overnight last night. Meeting Dan went GREAT! I gave Dan absolutely no credit. We let him sniff Hank first; all ends :O) Then we put him on the ground, and Dan was so excited, but seemed to know he was a baby and had to be gentle because he kept stretching his back legs to get some energy out.

Hank is 6 weeks old. He just got his shots, so he was able to come over. He played with all sorts of new toys, including a bone, a squeeky* toy, and this tennis ball.

Crystal- he likes "the funk" toy you bought Dan. Dan still won't touch it, but Hank liked chewing it :o) Thanks!

He even played with Dan! Dan let him climb on him and stand on him and even bite the side of his face :o) He chased him around the house and playfully mouthed him. It was pretty cute to watch them play.

After a schedule of eat, play, outside, Hank slept in his crate. In this picture, he actually put himself to bed in his crate :o) He liked snuggling up to his "baby", a toy we bought him and kept at his other house to smell like mom and puppies. He found it quite comforting throughout the night and only cried once to go outside (at 4:39 am!). Then he woke up for the day at 7:30. He's getting the idea of going potty outside, but he's too young to teach to ask for it; we just have to be scheduled and pay attention...so far so good. We sent him back home this afternoon and we'll get to keep him next weekend at 7 weeks. I am SO excited! And so glad to know that Dan will be good with him and didn't get jealous :o)

Hmm...

My mom has a facebook, and none of her kids are friends...what are you hiding in there, MOTHER?!

Restless Butt Syndrome?

San Antonio

Our first family vacation was successful :o) Hard, but successful nonetheless. Friday we arrived at the hotel and then went downtown. We took a Riverwalk cruise and looked around at shops, then let Dixie choose the restaurant for dinner...she chose McDonalds.

The Riverwalk was beautiful; I wish Dallas had a similar setup. I'd probably spend more time there. We saw San Antonio's oldest tree (a cypress), the first restaurant to set up shop on the Riverwalk, Saint Antonio, and ducks. That night the hotel hosted a "Dive in Movie", so we swam and watched "Night At The Museum" under the stars.

Saturday we went to Natural Bridge Caverns. The tour we took included 180 steps! Dixie did great; no real complaints. We saw all sorts of rock formations, including soda straws and bacon ribbons :o) I wanted to touch EVERYTHING, but apparently it's a felony. The place was so vast and huge. We experienced lights out for 2 minutes...I've never seen such darkness!

The last picture is of the hole that the explorer guys went through to find this place. Another tour includes repelling down one of these holes and exploring the cave without the lights on...HELL NO!

After the caverns, we went to Natural Bridge Wildlife Safari- a drive through park where animals supposedly come to your car. The ostrich was the only one who came! We also got to pet baby goats (which Adam ate for dinner later that night at a CRAZY Mexican restaurant) and a pig :o)

Creepy

Sunday was all Sea World. I must admit, my eyes got teary when I saw Shamu. I've ALWAYS wanted to see a whale, and I was just so excited. We also saw a dolphin/beluga/acrobat show, spent lots of time at the waterpark, and fed dolphins :o)

After Sea World, we went to the Alamo and other different shops. Then we ate dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. This one was 3 stories tall and the absolute coolest! We ate on the third floor, which was like eating in the canopy of the jungle. They had robotic animals that "talked" every few minutes, and there was a thunderstorm (complete with lightning but no rain) every half hour.

The hard part of this trip was not seeing my husband. Adam was there, but he was a parent. We were both parents. Parents on vacation is TOTALLY different than a married couple on vacation...took some getting used to. I was also raised to thank people for anything and everything I got, which was nothing like this. It took me being an adult to save up and go on a vacation like this, same with Adam. He even thanked me. He was the only one who did. All of the souvenir purchases and fun activities, not one thank you. This upset me, and I didn't know if I was expecting too much by needing to hear it or what. That was the hard part.

Meet My Boy:

If this is ANY indication of how he'll really look...HEH! I'll stick with dogs!