FINALLY, YES!!!

SWEET RELIEF! I LOVE THERAPY!!!!!!!

Life is like...

Life is like a box of chocolates....it makes you sick to your stomach.

The New Car

Yesterday had to be one of the worst days. I woke up in this terribly angry bitchy mood, for absolutely no reason. And in this mood, I had to car shop. Now, with the Passat, I never car shopped. I didn't have to look....it found me. It was the easiest car buying experience I've ever had! It was "meant to be."

My dear sweet husband was so nice and patient and tolerable. He never once took my bad mood personally and then become bitchy himself. He never told me to quit complaining or whining. He simply hugged me, kissed me, and asked me what I wanted. I was so in love with my Passat, nothing was going to satisfy me. I test drove an identical green Passat, which I just wasn't feeling. It was kind of crappy on the inside. I also test drove 2 Passat wagons. I liked an '07 black wagon, but we couldn't afford the payments. I told the salesman, "Well, thanks anyway. Sorry I wasted your time. It's just not the day." And I would have walked out. I didn't want ANY of those cars...I wanted my Passat! Then he told us about a navy blue Jetta that was really nice. So I test drove it, and then settled for it. My husband told me not to just settle for something, but no matter what it was, I was going to feel like I was being rushed, pushed and like I was settling. I needed him to tell me that there was no possible way I was going to get a Passat like last time. I had such a great deal with that car, and a whole other car to turn in as a down payment. So, I bought a 2003 navy blue VW Jetta GLX, 190 horsepower, VR6 engine, tan leather interior with seat warmers (a must with leather!), power everything, sunroof...here it is:

My husband is completely in love with this car. He's very excited about driving it...I'm getting there. I feel better about it today over yesterday. And, in a couple of years, I can trade it in for my Passat :o) It gets much better gas mileage than the other car, which is a plus. And I like the navy color. My husband is going to get the windows tinted this week....we can get a really good deal! And hey, I'm no longer stuck without a car. That's good, right?

I just saw it...

In the mirror just now...I've lost my daddy cheeks. I no longer have chubby cheeks! I have a "woman's" face...I have cheek bones that stick out and then curves in slightly underneath....wow!

The Pumpkin Patch

My husband, step-daughter and I went to Owen's Farm Saturday. We went on a hayride where we saw ponies grazing, we fed buffalo from a cup (the sheep and goats were too full, I guess), we saw and petted horses, donkeys, turkeys and chickens, we ate hotdogs and finally visited the pumpkin patch. My step-daughter wanted to "measure" each one by picking it up. She'd pick up one, have us look at it, but when asked if that was the one she wanted, the reply was no. So, after a while, she finally found her winning pumpkin. My husband and I picked out pumpkins too :o) Then we brought them home and carved them up:

Mine, Dixie's, Adam's

You can see a slideshow of pictures on my myspace page. It was a great family afternoon ;o)

Damn bug!

So, I'm driving to work (just left) minding my own business. I notice there's a bug in my hair, so of course I can't just let it stay there. I become the idiot woman who looks in her visor mirror to get rid of the bug. All of a sudden, there's a freaking car in front of me! I have no other choice but to grip the wheel, close my eyes, slam on the breaks and hope for the best....no such luck! This is my car after the damn bug:

Luckily, no one was hurt. My car (VW Passat) absorbed the entire crash, so nothing really hit me. The passenger air bag went off, but not mine (my husband says this is because that's where the car hit first, on the passenger side). I scratched my leg, and it stung, but no head injuries or any telltale signs. The other guy was driving a Cadillac which was barely damaged (some of the bumper fell, but it was drivable). The guy wasn't hurt or anything. The cops came; a wrecker came and towed my car to my husband's dealership. What's really nice was that today, of all days, my husband and I left the house at the same time, and we travel the same route, so he was coming up behind me, saw that I was in an accident, and was there to be with me (he didn't see it happen though).

Everyone is saying that my car is totalled. There's serious damage to the engine, the body, the driver's side door won't shut.... At my husband's shop there's a rep lady who works for "The Body Shop". She saw it and immediately said it was totalled. I also have gap insurance, so if it is totalled, I am covered and won't have to continue making any sort of car payment. What's sad is that I just got this car. I loved this car! I've wanted a Passat for so long! It was my first "grown-up" car. My husband keeps telling me we'll get another one, "they make more, baby." I just feel bad; I feel like I was this huge inconvenience to everyone. I was pretty close to going to work just because I wasn't really hurt and I was supposed to help out on a field trip (after EVERYONE telling me not to, I changed my mind). (Sigh)...next time, I'll follow my sister's advice and just leave the bug there!

AT&T U-Verse SUCKS!

Who the fuck has ever heard of a fucking e-mail address only lasting 90 fucking days!!! (can you tell I'm upset?) Now I have no one's e-mail address and I have to go and track everyone down, change all of my floating e-mail addresses online...this is so ridiculous! No one told me it was a TEMPORARY address! No one told me I had to migrate it to at&t! No one sent me an e-mail address!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How NOT to get Divorced

So, coming from divorce and now married to someone who got divorced, I am willing to try almost ANYTHING not to get divorced (notice I said almost)...here are some of my observations:

1. Don't let your kids sleep with you! It seems like EVERYONE I know who's kids slept with them had/has a bad marriage and eventually got divorced. I work at a preschool....I see lots of families. This seems to be the trend, and I know for a fact that at least 5 people I know, all of which are divorced, had their kids sleep with them. Don't know any other divorced people aside from the 5, so this is my basis.

2. Don't get a king-sized bed! I was watching a show (I think on TLC or HGTV) called "Please Buy My House", where a divorcee was trying to sell her house but couldn't. She brought in a fung shui (sp?), home cleanser person to see what kind of energy her house had to find out why no one would buy it. The lady walks into the bedroom and immediately asks what size the bed is...of course a king. The lady's logic was that under the king mattress is 2 twin box springs; two separate things as opposed to one unified bed. This made the harmony bad between the husband and wife, because they weren't united, and they divorced. Again, I know for a fact that 4 out of the 5 people mentioned above all had a king-sized bed (I plan to ask the one that I don't know for sure). How crazy is that?! So, my husband and I will be sticking with a good 'ole queen sized bed, and our kids will NEVER sleep in our bed!

I'M A NAZI!

So...it begins. The employee retaliation. The strike back.

I was called a Nazi today, by someone I thought was a friend. I was told I am now untrustworthy, but when questioned about what I've done to break the trust, no possible answer could be given. I was told that everything has gotten worse since I've been in my position (yet when questioned about specifics, she can't possibly think of anything to say), and that being friends would be a "conflict of interest." Ok then, so I asked her if I should dis invite myself to a couple of events she's invited me to. She says no. Does that make any sort of sense whatsoever?! So I questioned that, "Ok, so you don't think we should be friends but you still want me to go to these things?" No real response. So I took it upon myself, since it is a conflict of interest, to go ahead and decline her invitation.....translation: she doesn't like the fact that I actually enforce the rules that are already in place. Therefor, I can't come to her party! Nice, right? This is what I work with!

Later that day she came and apologized to me, that I didn't deserve to have shit taken out on me just because she's having a bad day, bla bla bla....We need some freaking MEN working there!!!

Step-Mother

It's absolutely the hardest thing I've ever had to do. To put so much effort into making sure time here is enjoyable, the hope that one day maybe...and then to be constantly reaffirmed that it's not good enough; it will never be good enough, no matter what I do...and to still put on a smile and pretend...It's just....so....difficult. Perhaps....one day....maybe...maybe

My Birthday

So, the big 2-7 was yesterday. I began my morning by opening a gift from my hubbie. He bought me a beautiful turquoise bra and panty set from Victoria's Secret (it's the secret embrace, so it's really soft)....very nice :o)

Work was next. Usually when it's someones birthday at work, I start the birthday card around to be signed, then put it on the time clock so that person sees it when they come into work. Since I didn't send my own around, I figured no one else did. So, I wrote in happy birthday in my own card and started to send it around to be signed. What was nice....they already did it...2 whole weeks ago! My husband surprised me at work by bringing me my ever famous angel food cake with sticky frosting...MMM!! I was nice and shared with people at work. The kids that were in my class last year made me birthday cards all day long, and one class sang to me :o) I even got a gift card for dinner from my boss ;o). The most shocking....I get a "happy birthday" call from my father...WHOA! The man never remembers! He called to wish me a happy day, and I briefly spoke to my aunt. I did not receive a "Happy Baby" song this year, hee hee ;o)

Ok, so then I went home. I opened my other gifts when my husband arrived. I got a shredder, which I've been asking for all year (that's the only thing I've been asking for) and the "Carnivale" DVD boxed set (great series!). We then got ready and went out to dinner at On The Border. We sat outside beside this huge bowl fountain filled with rocks. It was such a nice night outside. We ordered drinks (a strawberry Margarita and a shot of tequila) and then my hubbie went to get cigs. The waiter came back and asked for my i.d. Then he put the drinks on the table and asked if there was anything we were celebrating that night, because usually they get all the waiters and announce it to the entire restaurant. My response? "Nope, no special occasion here. Just another day." He left, my husband came back, and we sat and talked while drinking. After a while, and almost the bottom of my glass, I realized we'd never received chips and salsa. So as the waiter walked by, "Dude! Aren't we supposed to get chips or something?" "Oh gosh! I'm so sorry! I'll get right on that."--Calling him "dude" got us free queso :o) So, we're eating our chips and they take our order. I also order another margarita and shot ;o) After a while, they bring out dinner. My husband's was fine, mine was COMPLETELY wrong...not at all what I had ordered. Waiter says, "I am so sorry. I was about to yell at the kitchen staff and then realized my pudgy fingers pushed the button right next to it. I am so sorry, it was my responsibility and I"ll go into the kitchen and yell 'rapido!' and they'll get it right out." I told him I liked how he held himself accountable for his mistake and said alright. My sweet husband waited for my meal. The waiter checks on us, and asks him why he's not eating. His response, "What kind of husband would I be if I sat here and ate in front of my wife?" So waiter took his away to heat it and have it come out with mine. My second drink is still not here, so I get another waiter to check on it. Dinner comes, mine is fine, my husband's is still cold, so it goes back again. This time, the manager brings it out, "I made this one myself, so let me know how it is." Everything was great, my drink finally arrived, the food was good. Then...as I go to take a scoop of rice, I see a critter crawling around. Now, granted, we're outside, so I'm wondering if it was already on my plate, or if it just landed. It had no wings... So the manager comes out again to check on us, and we point out the critter. He says it looks like one he's seen outside, and asks me if I want another plate. I tell him if it's from outside, it's fine. We chose to sit outside and they can't help those conditions, and that I didn't want to be a pain. He insisted that he's dealt with pains, and that I was by no means being a pain, but I really didn't want a spitter in my food since we've already sent back stuff twice and got the wrong food, so I insisted everything was alright (didn't eat the rice). Waiter comes out again, apologizes profusely, and asks since it's my birthday if he can do something with the other waiters to help make up for anything. I tell him that if he gets the other waiters, the entire table will be com'pt (we're joking and laughing with the waiter the entire time. He was quite entertaining, and I also had 4 drinks in me). Then the manager comes out again, tells us our meals have been com'pt, gives us his card and coupons for dessert later, and we just end up paying for the drinks :o)

Then I went home and, well.......:o) Happy Birthday to ME!

Leave It Alone

Thanks to Diavoletto for introducing me to just the right words to express myself!

Don't care what you say
Don't care what you do
Don't care what you love
Don't care where you go
Don't care where you live
Don't care will you stay away
Don't care how you feel
Don't care how you know
Don't care how you cry
Do'nt care how you are
Don't care how you were
Don't care how you want to be

I don't care for you
I'm not here for you

Don't hear what you say
Don't hear what you feel
Don't hear what you know
Don't fear what you do
Don't fear what you don't
Don't fear will you stay away
Can't be what you are
Can't be what you see
Can't be what you feel
Can't stand who you are
Can't stand who you were
Can't stand who you want to be

I don't care for you
I'm not here for you

You tell me over and over again
All the little things that I can't understand

Over and over and over and over and over and over again.